1. Awakening from the Abyss
“Hey, Chen Yuxuan. Tell me… if you could be given a chance to live again, how would you choose?”
The night was cool as water.
Even the distant glitz and glamour flowed with moonlight.
On the rooftop of a building, a man lay in the wind, sitting on the railing at the edge, talking on the phone.
A magnetic male voice came from the other end of the phone.
"Why suddenly ask this?"
I looked down, beneath my dangling feet was an endless abyss, which now seemed inexplicably charming.
"Playing a game, that's all. Come on, tell me."
The voice on the other end of the phone was somewhat impatient, and I rolled my eyes in annoyance, taking several gulps of Jägermeister from my hand.
"What to say? It's all so abrupt… Even if it's just a red or blue button, at least lay out the options first."
"Hmm… right. Let me think, how do those rebirth novels usually go… Xianxia? Urban? Or just go for Fantasy? I don't read much, so I only know this much. What's your pick?"
"I choose a world where everyone's a loli."
"…There's no such world."
"Eh, then what's the point of being reborn—"
I sighed softly.
"Hey, I'm being serious with you, don't brush me off like that."
"Alright, alright, then let it be a Fantasy… It's all the same, boring, I'm tired of it all."
"Fantasy, huh… In such worlds, there's usually a Demon King and a Hero, right? So choose between these two roles, would you be the Demon King or the Hero?"
"Of course, the Demon King." I said indifferently.
The cold wind grew sharper, making my coat flutter loudly.
"Why?"
"Because only fools would be heroes. There's bound to be some troublesome task, like defeating the Demon King to save the world or something. In reality, you're just a pawn in the hands of those in power. Those at the top, they tempt you with righteousness to fight to the death. If you succeed, they reap the benefits; if you die, they just find another fool. Whoever loves that can go for it, I certainly won't."
"…So being the Demon King is more carefree." The voice on the phone also seemed a bit emotional, "OK, then the Demon King. Last question, do you choose to continue being a man, or try being a woman for a change?"
"Of course, a man… wait a second."
I frowned, realizing things weren't so simple.
If I became the Demon King… that's a being destined to be vanquished. Even with immense power, there will always come a day when some stronger idiot, holding a holy sword, will come before me, shouting "RUA! RUA! RUA!" and end my dog life.
Thinking back, many of the Demon Kings in novels and animations without the protagonist's halo are quite pitiful, the kind you know will die the moment they appear.
So what kind of Demon King can survive?
Those who can act cute and cry.
Preferably a loli, a big-chested loli, an elf loli, a beast-eared loli, any will do.
Add silver hair and red eyes to the mix.
Every sentence ends with a "nya".
That way, I can live carefree, raise flags all over the sky without worry.
Tell me she'll die, and I'll come to you with my head..
After all, if there's someone I can't beat, I can still act cute and cling to their legs!!
"Please let me be a woman!!!!"
"Yikes— I didn't expect you to be that kind of person."
"After all, being the Demon King isn't easy."
"Even if it means being splattered with blood every month?"
"Uh…"
That question did stump me.
After hesitating for a moment, I sighed again.
"What are we even talking about…"
"Just chatting."
"Then let me ask you a question." I shifted my buttocks forward, finding a more comfortable sitting position.
I shook the nearly empty bottle in my hand and drank the rest in one go.
The warmth in my stomach couldn't reignite my cold body.
"What does it feel like, your sister not being here anymore?"
After I said this, there was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.
"…Are you asking for a beating by bringing this up now? How would you feel if your fiancée was gone?"
Yes, my fiancée, who was also his sister, had died of illness a week ago.
So that's probably why we're having this pointless phone call on a night when neither of us has anyone to keep us company.
"I don't feel anything." I said.
"…What?"
There was a moment of astonishment in the other person's voice.
"Don't get me wrong, uncle, what I mean is… there's just no sense of reality, a complete disbelief in my heart. Because I always think that maybe in the next moment, she'll appear before me as she used to, giving me a scare like that."
"…Don't think too much. The company still has so many people depending on you for their livelihood. Let's talk about the problems that need to be solved tomorrow."
I didn't respond to him, even though what he said was true.
Three years ago, I chose the path of entrepreneurship, foolishly trying to change my fate. Knowing that I couldn't compare to those second-generation rich kids with their parents' support, I put in more time, relying on my own desperate spirit, and managed to keep the company afloat for three years, yet still not turning a profit.
I really regret taking this path.
I regret not being better to my fiancée when she was alive because I was too busy with work.
All along the way, it seems like I've always been making mistakes, never doing anything right.
I'm really tired.
"What do you think the world after death is like…"
The girl named Xiaoxi, who once asked me this, has already gone to that world beyond death.
"How am I supposed to answer that… Although Xiaoxi is gone, we still have to live well. After all, you have parents… Have you told them about this?"
"Not yet."
As for why not…
Some elders just can't understand your feelings. Sometimes they're even less clear about life than those children who don't understand anything but are full of hope.
"Living, in most cases, is a long and tiresome battle of attrition. That's my favorite saying."
"Hey, Yuxuan…"
"Thanks, bro, good night."
I hung up the phone.
I threw away the phone and stepped on the railing, leaping down.
The wind howled in my ears.
I remembered the accusations that slipped out during dinner with my parents, all the words eventually boiling down to one sentence.
"Why don't you just die!"
But if I can't die.
Then please let me fly.
…
I had a dream.
In the dream, I sat at a table laden with delicacies, and my mother came out of the kitchen, took off her apron, and said to me with a smile, "Eat up. Business is like warfare, and failure is a common occurrence for soldiers. Don't be sad, you're still young, and there are plenty of opportunities to start over. Rest at home for a while, your dad and I will always be your strong support."
My dad, sitting on the sofa, put down his phone, came over, and patted my shoulder, nodding at me.
My heart was touched, and I tried to hold back my sadness, smiling at them, but tears had already blurred my vision.
Dad, Mom, do you know that Xiaoxi is no longer here… I'll never see her again…
The figures of my parents gradually receded, and I turned my head to see a girl in white standing there, lively and pretty.
"Don't be sad," she said. "I will always be with you."
She walked towards me, reached out her fair hand, and caressed my cheek, wiping the tears from my face.
"Xiaoxi, I'm tired…" I stared at her face, where there was a smile that haunted my dreams.
"It's not time to rest yet~" she said, then cupped my tear-stained face and kissed my eyes. "Wake up, I will always be with you."
"Wake up, I will always be with you," she said.
"Wake up…"
"Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up…"
That voice was no longer the sweet one of Xiaoxi, it became heavy and harsh, like the whisper of a demon.
"[Abyssal language] Wake up, Silvija Rabischmos."
…
I woke up with a start!
My consciousness was still blurry, and I couldn't figure out what was happening. My brain was blank for a long time before I gradually reconnected with the world.
I found myself seemingly immersed in some kind of cold, viscous liquid, surrounded by darkness, unable to see anything.
What… what happened to me?!
I remember… I seemed to have jumped off the rooftop.
From the 24th floor, I should be completely cold by now, right?
So why am I still conscious?
Could it be that I'm not dead yet? How is that possible.
So am I… reborn?
What a joke, have I really been reborn?!
I carefully felt the viscous liquid enveloping me, slowly moving. The touch of the liquid was smooth and cold, and it was somewhat comfortable. Strangely, my consciousness could clearly detect that the temperature of the liquid should be very low, but my physiological mechanisms were very adapted to this temperature, a feeling that was hard to describe in words.
I began to carefully feel the condition of my body.
Looking down, looking up, shaking my head, raising my hand, clenching my fist, kicking my legs.
Hmm… something was weird, it seemed different from before.
First was the hand, I noticed when I clenched my fist, the proportions were different. The arms, as well as the fingers, seemed to have grown a bit.
I then began to carefully feel the changes in muscle exertion and found that not only the arms, but other parts also had subtle differences. These differences made me uncomfortable, as if I was controlling a body that wasn't my own.
A variety of noises continuously reached my ears, among them seemed to be human voices. People were conversing in a language I couldn't understand at all, sounding quite far away, probably kilometers away.
Thinking about it, under normal circumstances, could I really hear voices from such a distance?
Hmm? How did I determine the distance to be kilometers…
Although I couldn't see, I felt that my senses had become more sensitive. Gradually, I heard the clear movement of the viscous liquid around me, the noisy human voices as if exploding in my ears, occasionally mixed with high-pitched shouts and the roars of wild beasts. Further away, birds were flapping their wings, stirring up harsh winds; the rustling of the wind passing through grass and trees, accompanied by the clanking of armor friction and the orderly footsteps of marching, rapidly expanded in my ears…
A complex flood of information rushed into my consciousness, causing me a splitting headache, and my brain momentarily crashed.
The next moment, something slowly seeped into my body from the liquid that enveloped me.
The black viscous liquid suddenly boiled.
It wrapped around my body and flowed rapidly, a lifting force came from below, and I felt my body gradually rising.
The distant voices seemed even more noisy, although I couldn't understand what they were saying, I could sense the tense and heavy atmosphere of anxiety and trepidation. The high-pitched shouts intermittently conveyed a sense of finality, reflecting the imminent disaster and determination they were about to face.
What's happening? What's going on?
The force dragging me suddenly accelerated again, now with the strength to throw me upwards. I panicked, flailing my arms trying to grab onto something, but I could only stir aimlessly in the mud-like liquid, without any point of leverage.
Powerless to resist, I was forced upward, the whole process taking but an instant. Suddenly, I felt light, and the blinding light made me instinctively close my eyes.
I'm out! That was my first sensation.
It was warm and liberating; the oppressive feeling of being wrapped in the viscous liquid vanished instantly. I took a deep breath, and the air, filled with the fragrance of grass and trees, seemed of high quality. That was my second sensation.
Then I suddenly remembered, when I was inside, it seemed like I hadn't breathed at all?
My mind raced with thoughts, but only a second or two had actually passed. I heard a robust shout in the distance, followed by something whistling through the air with a "whoosh," and I quickly opened my eyes. After a brief flash of white, what I saw was a sky filled with fireballs hurtling towards me.
Damn it!
There was no time to be shocked; I instinctively closed my eyes again and raised my right hand to shield myself.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom…
Ah—! It hurts!
Explosions rang out around me, and a searing pain immediately engulfed my body. I couldn't help but throw back my head and let out a roar.
"Roar—" The sound that came out was a melodious and prolonged cry, like an ancient melody played under the moonlight, surprisingly pleasant to my ears, but clearly, it was not a sound a human could make.
There was no time to ponder; my mind was filled with the panic of being burned alive. Desperate, I opened my eyes, expecting to see myself wrapped in flames, but instead, I was enveloped in a hellish black smoke. The smoke danced like flames, filled with ominous energy, and within the smog, I occasionally saw a blue-tinged object.
—That was my arm.
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